Plan to be surprised
Recently I watched Dan in Real Life, a 2007 flick directed by Peter Hedges. It follows the story of Dan, a widower with three teen daughters, who falls in love with Marie, a woman he meets unexpectedly in a bookstore only to find out hours later that she’s in a relationship with his youngest brother.
This family comedy has a lot of layers. While Dan is busy pining over Marie, his daughters are teaching him important lessons about earnest love, trust, and the importance of living in the present.
I appreciated this movie because of the way it showed the depth of people, despite their age, life path or past decisions. We’ve all heard the adage “you can’t judge a book by its cover” and it’s true. People surprise us every day and we have to be open to that and not pre-judge them based on our own preconceived expectations.
Hedges said he wanted the movie to be a “human comedy” that shows the humor in real life, tempered with pain and sadness. With this he more than succeeded. I giggled each time Dan retreated to the laundry room with the clunky old washer and dryer, where he was relegated to sleep as the only adult in the house without a partner.
One of the most memorable scenes in the film is between Dad Dan and his middle daughter’s 17-year-old boyfriend, Marty.
Dan is admonishing Marty for crashing a family weekend to see his daughter and sending him back home. Out of nowhere, Marty comes back with this piece of wisdom: “Love is not a feeling, it’s an ability.”
If we honestly give people a chance, the ending will often surprise us.
If you’d like to watch Dan in Real Life, you’ll find it on Hulu.